


Sleep lost in memories

by Elija



Category: Deus Ex (Video Games), Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Genre: (not the sexy kind tho), Insomnia, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks, Self-Indulgent, Sleep Deprivation, and kind of, for, this wasn't supposed to be angst i swear, trigger warnings i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 14:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13168725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elija/pseuds/Elija
Summary: You know that feeling when you lay awake at night and can't sleep because everything around you is just too much? Yeah, what if Adam has that problem.





	Sleep lost in memories

He laid on his back, eyes trailing over the wooden bars on his ceiling for what felt like the billionth time tonight.

Back and forth, finding new details every time.

Dark shadows parted by golden reflections of the lights from the city outside, changing and moving with it.

The city never slept, and apparently he was to share her fate tonight once again.

 

With a sigh, he dragged a hand over his face, eyes squeezing shut for a moment, the tingling sensation from the lack of sleep dulling for a moment.

His nerves were on fire, hyper-aware of every little detail around him.

A cold whisper of air from his window, which would never close completely.

The rolled up edge of his pillow digging into his neck uncomfortably.

His blanket, its material feeling too rough for him to stand right now.

Quiet, muffled voices from the people who lived around him and those passing by outside.

The whirring of the security scanners hovering over the street.

 

There wouldn‘t be any sleep for him this night either, it seemed.

A restlessness he couldn‘t shake, digging into his mind and clutching him with its cold arms.

Everything was too much, yet he felt like he was yearning for something that he couldn’t place.

A warm shower would usually calm him, but just the thought of the water hitting his body made his skin crawl.

Anything that he hoped could soothe his nerves, was met with agitation and made him want to rip his skin off his body at the bare thought of it.

Even just moving felt like it would be too much, and yet staying in bed was nothing but agony for him.

 

He tried to take a breath, it came out ragged, stuck in his throat.

He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, steel wires clutching his lungs and cold flowing through him.

A feeling like electricity painfully running over his skin, dread hitching in his throat, making him feel sick.

Vision darkened, white flashes dancing in his eyes, his prosthetics fruitlessly trying to stabilize his systems.

Red blinking of errors on his retina display, glitching on and off his HUD, alerting him to his system shutting down.

 

Darkness.

No sound anymore, no sensations.

No recognition of how much time passed.

Something bright. A series of numbers running over his vision, replaced by text.

 

_ Emergency shutdown. _

_ System rebooting… _

 

First, his vision returned.

No HUD, only the familiar sight of his ceiling with the patches of light.

Slowly re-gaining awareness of his body again.

Breathing calmly now, chest rising and falling with his systems commands.

His legs and arms felt heavy, the burning of his nerves quieted down and leaving him numb.

Eyes heavy and slowly closing, his body doing its best to force sleep on him.

He didn’t resist it.

Any minute of sleep he could get would make the next night a bit easier, less painful for him.

His augmentations couldn’t fix it, couldn’t take the memories from him to soothe his mind. 

And he clung to them, to the pain and sorrow they brought, because no matter how much it hurt, it made him feel  _ something _ real.

It made him feel human.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Or: The author couldn't sleep and copes by making their fave suffer.  
> I wanted to write a happy jensard-y ending but oh well hope you liked the angst :D


End file.
